In my workshop with LK at the last VC residency, I mentioned in passing that I always throw away my novel manuscript first drafts and delete the files. This got a much bigger reaction than I'd ever intended, but in any case, the reason for it is so that I can give myself permission to just write full-out--find the voice, explore the setting, really play with no inkling that I'll ever use any of it as a real foundation.
But now I'm onto my second first draft, the real one that I'll build on from now on. Maybe. Unless for some reason I have to throw that out, too, which is what happened when I was writing T. But this time I feel more secure in it. My Spidey sense is happy.
I've got 13,703 words so far, which translates to 67 pages, the last four of which are single-spaced notes on what's supposed to happen next. I have no idea how long this draft will run, but no doubt it'll be a whole lot shorter than every subsequent stab.
The great thing is that I have a solid grasp of the work in front of me. On the other hand, the scary thing is that I have a solid grasp of the work in front of me.
The even better news: I'm having fun!